Portal To My Mind

It's Been Awhile

2009-08-07T15:29:00.001-04:00

Sorry, it's been awhile. Summer classes are no joke. I will definetly make it up though!

I Weep For My Children

2009-06-27T00:54:00.001-04:00

I weep for my children
For they’ll never truly know
Even after all I’ll show them
They still weren’t blessed to grow
In the era of a true genius
Music=MJ²
Just thinking of what they’ve missed out on
Just proves that life isn’t fair
“Oh how I wish I knew him” they’d say
A curious look in their eyes
“And how I wish I could stop
These tears coming from Momma’s eyes”

I weep for my children
For music in their time
Won’t even be 1/10
Of Do You Remember The Time
I weep for my children
And when they ask me why
I simply look at them and say
He never said goodbye
I accept it’s Human Nature
The will of the Most High
But despite of what I know
I Never Can Say Goodbye

My Note To Michael

2009-06-26T12:56:00.002-04:00

I refuse to believe it...
I hate hearing people say the LATE Michael Jackson...
I hate seeing the RIP statuses...
That makes it all too real..
That makes me have accept the truth...
I don't want to accept the truth...
This is a truth that just shouldn't be...
I grew up with you...
Your music was a part of who I am today...
My memories consist of you...
I dreamt of you every night back in the day...
I sang You Are Not Alone constantly and cried at the video...
You are just... the epitome of music...
Alot of artists here today are here because of you...
I had a dream of meeting you one day...
Even if it was just for 5 seconds because I'd faint at the sight of you...
Everyone should've left you alone...
There will be no one like you man...
When I found out, I couldn't do anything but cry...
I couldn't even see where i was going as i was driving home...
I've never cried so loud and so much for anyone before...
I never told anyone before today but you were my first love...
I don't care what anyone says...
So you're really gone?
No you're not...
You can't be...
My head hurts from crying so much...
This hurts my heart...
Thank you for living...
Thank you for sharing the music that filled you up inside with the rest of us...
I can't tell you how grateful I am...
I just... cant believe it...
Feels like I'm in a bad dream...
I love you Michael...
Always have and always will...
I love you...
♥

My Tears and The Tears of Millions Can't Bring You Back To Us... If They Could, I'd Cry Forever...

My Idol

Through the Tears...

2009-05-30T16:44:00.003-04:00

I just came from a funeral with a tear-streaked face, the illest headache, and new outlook on life. Guichard was an inspiration to everyone he knew, and even those who didn't know him. We're talking student body president as a freshman, a volunteer, a father, a best friend to many, a brother, a son and a man of God. His mother was also a servant of God as she lead the church with her husband. Just seeing how packed the church was, and hearing the speakers, I just could not stop crying. I look at their family and my heart just breaks. That little boy looks just like his dad, it's crazy. Nobody ever wants to accept the death of someone they knew, but as the preacher said, they're home now. My mom said that there is no doubt in her mind that he's delivered and that he was laid to rest like a king. He did his job here on earth.

A part of me keeps saying "If only it wasn't raining that morning" but then I have to remind myself that it's all God's plan.

This makes me look at everything so differently now. I am going to try to live my life to fullest and try to get closer to God. I was listening to my favorite Kirk Franklin cd and just cried my eyes out when "Imagine Me" and "The Appeal" came on. Mind you, I'm driving so I couldn't see anything in front of me, it was ridiculous. But these words are just stuck in my head...

"When I die
What will they say about me?
Will the works that I've done
Be enough to help someone
When I die?
Will I draw men's hearts to you
At the setting of the sun
Will I hear you say 'well done'
When I die?"
- The Appeal

Great things were said about Guichard and Sr. Ildet. I only hope that I can become half the inspiration that they were.

R.I.P
♥

Get It Girl- Err Boy!

2009-05-25T00:51:00.001-04:00

Don't Be Mad Because She Ain't Choose You

2009-05-20T20:12:00.006-04:00

Javon Jackson's parents, like other parents, were ecstatic when their son recieved his college diploma. Tragically, a Mother's Day meant for pure happiness quickly turned into a day of sorrow when the aspiring electrical engineer's life was cut short hours after his graduation. Later, the police confirmed that young Javon Jackson's life was taken away from him as a result of a previous altercation over a dance with a girl.

The other day, young upcoming ATL rapper Dolla was shot and killed out in LA. The police say it was following a fight over a girl.

Are we noticing a pattern here? These two young lives were not the only ones stolen over a girl. This happens way too often and it makes me wonder how the girl in said situation feels? I'm not saying it's the girls' fault. Obviously, these so-called men couldn't get over their pride and took their jealousy too far. What is the point of taking someone's life because you weren't picked? Common sense would tell them that such a stupid move not only guarantees the end of life as they know it, but they STILL won't get the girl in the end.

Some guys need to just get over themselves. I am just so disgusted by this.

Back On My School Floww

2009-05-13T20:58:00.002-04:00

My 4 month sabbatical is over and as of yesterday, I'm a college student again. So now I'm all focused on the books and whatnot. I'm on campus from 11:30-6:15pm every Tuesday and Thursday and day 1 has worn me out! Though I'll be busy with homework and papers and HOPEFULLY A JOB, I'll try to post as much as I can. I need to step my blog game up. I'm surprised I haven't what with all the chicken shortages, nekkid pics and whatnot going on these past few weeks lol.

Random Thought:

I HATE people who drive extra close behind me! Why are you all up on me? I don't know you like that! It's called TAILGATING people, and I am NOT a football team so get up off of me, thank you!

As A Facebook User... I RESENT THAT!!

2009-04-22T21:57:00.002-04:00

A study showed that facebook users supposed get worse grades in school than non-facebook users. I think they are just haters.

Facebook users have lower overall grades than non-users, according to a survey of college students who also ironically said the social networking site does not interfere with studying. That disconnect between perception and reality does not necessarily mean that Facebook leads to less studying and worse grades -- the grades association could be caused by something else. However, it does raise more questions about how students spend their time outside class on activities such as Facebook, part-time jobs and extracurricular activities. "I'm just saying that there's some kind of relationship there, and there's many third variables that need to be studied," said Aryn Karpinski, an education researcher at Ohio State University.
Her study found that Facebook user GPAs were in the 3.0 to 3.5 range on average, compared to 3.5 to 4.0 for non-users. Facebook users also studied anywhere from one to five hours per week, compared to non-users who studied 11 to 15 or more hours per week. However, Karpinski emphasized that correlation does not equal causation, meaning Facebook use might not be the culprit behind lower GPAs or less study time.
For instance, students who spend more time enjoying themselves rather than studying might tend to latch onto the nearest distraction, such as Facebook. Or students who use the social networking site might also spend more time on other non-studying activities such as sports or music. The study did show that students who work more hours at jobs spend less time on Facebook, while students involved in more extracurricular activities were also more likely to use Facebook. Such results may help Karpinski and other researchers better understand the profile of the average user on the popular social networking site. Early findings show that over 85 percent of undergrads use Facebook, compared to 52 percent of grad students. Karpinski herself does not use Facebook, although her coauthor does. She expressed some bemusement over how quickly students rose to the defense of their online activities, even though she took care not to introduce a positive or negative bias into her survey questions. "They're very territorial about their Facebook," Karpinski told LiveScience.

[Source]

Somebody Help Me

2009-04-22T21:35:00.003-04:00

I need some enlightenment. Cyber Space is starting to bore me. Not enough feeds on facebook and Twitter is just looking... random. What else is there to do here? I thought possibilities were endless...

Must...Have...These...SHOES!!

2009-04-19T16:29:00.007-04:00

I LOVE the sandals Beyonce was rocking yesterday when she went shopping with hubby Jay Z in Soho.

She had on the Louis Vuitton Spicy Sandal in Burgundy Suede Baby Goat Leather. I love the beads on the sandal. These are SEXY!!

Also check out a couple of other sandals in LV Spicy Sandal Collection. On the left we have one in Pony Style Calf Leather and the one on the right is Python Leather. I favor the Python leather one more.

The price tag on these go up are on a $1,000- $3,000 range. What? That's crazy money. I'll stick to admiring them from afar. I just love the totem pole, Masks from the Motherland feel I'm gettin from these heels...

[sidebar: I'm not one for wearing animal skin. Just to keep things clear lol]

The Shooooes!!

2009-04-18T22:46:00.006-04:00

Today I was making my daily rounds throughout the blogosphere when I noticed something. You know the Treat For My Feet section on the right side of this blog? Well I was looking at a candid pic of Ciara and noticed SHE WAS WEARING MY FEET TREATS!!

This is the current TFMF shoe.

The Christian Louboutin Dillian Flower Pump.

Peep Ciara rocking the nude ones last night in NYC.

Call me weird, but I feel somehow connected to Ci because of this. Shoutout to TheYBF.com for connecting me with my Sole Sister!

Tyrese is Deep

2009-04-18T21:50:00.006-04:00

They say the first step in resolving a problem is admitting you have one. So I'm admitting it. I am slowly but surely becoming a twitter fiend. One thing I do take comfort in, is the fact that I am not the only one. The celebs are going IN! Anyway, everytime I sign onto Twitter, Tyrese Gibson always has some words of wisdom for his Twitter Love Circle. I never knew he was so deep! Here are some inspirational tweets from the Dark and Yummy Guru.

Tyrese4ReaL

-Some of Ya'Ll Responses be CLASSIC Most people are shocked that I say what I say.. I'm not all Face, Muscles and Celeb.. I'm a Thinking Man

-Sex, Feelings, and emotions and being alone can BLIND YOU.. Make sure you don't LOVE her/Him more than you KNOW him/her...

-If it aint right... GET OUT!!... If things are speacial but not perfect.. Stay and fight for what you believe in...

-Remember this.. Who YOU decide to share your HEART and LIFE with is a DIRECT reflection of what you think of yourself....

-Black Fathers are a rare species.. Locked up, or just not involved.. my father wasn't there for me.. I decided I'm gonna BREAK the cycle.

-I've said this BEFORE... Mothers out there.. DON'T MAKE IT HARD on us Fathers who are TRYING to be there... Push how you feel about what he did to YOU to the side and let him do his damn PART!!.. Period..

-Advise to ALL.... DO-NOT... I REPEAT.. DO-NOT tell a NEW man or WOMEN your dating ALL the details as to why your LAST relationship

-I really wanna inspire.. I feel like this is my one and ONLY Purpose.. I know I twit a lot but I care.. Unfollow if you want the norm.

Aww.. He cares!

Tyrese is a man of many dimensions. I'm excited for his comic book coming out named MAYHEM. He let us twitterbugs on a bit of information about the hero also. According to him, Mayhem is a modern day gun slinging vigilante who seeks refuge in the basement of a church. Tyrese is hosting a "HUGE" bowling party for the pre launch of MAYHEM in L.A. April 25th.

Here's the book cover. He seems really proud of it! I think it's hot.

Why is Florida Doing This To Me?!

2009-04-18T21:26:00.002-04:00

At my old institution, I only needed to take one, I repeat one math class and I was ok for the rest of my educational journey. So when I finished College Algebra with an A, I was hype! Then I transfer to a Florida institution and what happens? I have to take Statistics! Do you know how many horror stories I've heard about that class? Not only am I trying to keep my GPA over a certain level, I'm trying to avoid taking the CLAST. I'm exempt from the Reading/Writing part of this test but no such luck with the Math. But the worst part of all this? THE CLASS IS THREE HOURS!! Two days a week; Three hours. Me sitting in a classroom staring at various numbers, letters and symbols for three hours can not be safe. I can already feel my brain stressing just thinking about it! Thank God there are no dead zones in the school. I can at least have my TILT entertain me with MySpace, Facebook and Twitter.

Can You Odee on Vitamins?

2009-04-18T17:49:00.002-04:00

I have had two horrible nights in a row. I HATE being sick. The other night, I spent the whole time trying to breathe and when I finally was able to sleep, I had to wake up for orientation. Which was long and boring by the way. So last night, I think I'm finally going to get some sleep. Definetly not the case. Not only was I coughing and sneezing like crazy, when I FELL OFF THE BED AND HIT MY HEAD ON THE NIGHT TABLE! Ugh!!

Going to fill my body with liquids and vitamins now...

Deuces

I'm Late But Oh Well

2009-04-16T01:28:00.004-04:00

The sexy and underrated and did I mention sexy? Serius Jones. My friend put me on to him a little while ago and I can't believe what I was missing out on. I'm mad an idiot like Souljah Boy is all over the place while a lyrical genius like Serius Jones is not getting the props he deserves! Serius is best known for his crazy wordplay in his freestyles and especially for destroying another emcee Jin on Fight Klub back in '05. The Jersey born rapper was signed with DTP the following year but the contract was severed last year. That didn't stop him from releasing his biographical motion picture "Life is Serius".

This is what he had to say about his latest mixtape "Serius Bizness" which came out last year...

…Win, lose or draw, I was forced to put my life on the line to create reality outta what use to be my dream. “Serius Bizness” is a chapter in the legacy of my rise to international “starism.” For those who have followed my story and have been waiting for my album to drop or those that just heard my name somewhere and maybe a freestyle, “Serius Bizness” (Street Album/DVD) should put any sleeping on my artistry to bed and wake up the game to the fact that “Serius” lives up to his name. Being that i’ve been considered one of the greatest “battle” rappers ever i have no choice but to make legendary music above and beyond just “rap” or fall into the obscurity of the losing majority. So far in this industry i have lost family and friends, went from multi-million dollar contract to on my own hustling to pay for studio time and videos and i’ve learned this is a “serious” business for real. Im humbled by the talent of the musicians and directors that i have been blessed to work with and If this is just my “mixtape” music and visuals imagine what “Life is Serius” is gonna b like. Lets make this History yall!! [Source]

For those of you who don't know about Serius Jones, GET ON IT! For those of you that's been up on him already? Why ya'll ain't let a sister know!

Peep the mini-movie "Life is Serius". I loved it, personally.

Also, download "Serius Bizness" here

I am not too proud to admit my friend was right. This n*gga is the truth!

Vomit, Drama, and more Drama!

2009-04-14T23:04:00.003-04:00

Yo tonight's episode of College Hill was THE BEST! Last week's 30 minutes of wackness made me question my continued interest in the show after the departure of our ghetto pageant queen. Tonight they made up for their mistake. It all started when Brandon's "I think I'm a Baller" behind wanted to wake everyone up with the dribbling of his basketball. So Kyle turns around makes madd noise when Brandon tries to sleep. Of course, he gets tight and four letter words are flying all over the place!

Next, we have the whole house gettin WTF drunk after finding out their trip to Key West. Allison's all buddy buddy with Brandon since Kyle blew her up about her freaky ways. So after their little powow, the house FINALLY gets quiet and everyone goes to sleep. This is when Brandon gets up and loses his breakfast, lunch, dinner, and in-between snacks all over the house! How would you feel if you woke up to the contents of someone's upchuck all over the place?! That is just nasty! I couldn't do it. They were too calm about it. Especially with him first denying it and then acting like it's nothing to get upset about. I would've spazzed out on that boy. Like "This Kobe Bryant wannabe, rude a** nucca!"

Oh and we cannot forget the serious moment in the show. Our dear Kyle is suffering from BULIMIA! Yes! Our favorite loud mouthed, head waving, finger snapping, country housemate likes to eat and gag. Not a good look. What's TV without a good service announcement though, right?

Last but not least: THE NEW HOUSEMATE! Black Entertainment Television found a replacement for Crazy Terri. Meet Kathryn, aka Kay "like the letter" from USF. Seems as though she's going to be recruited to Team Brandon in the house. Kyle definetly doesn't like her already. I need more episodes to fully evaluate the new girl. So I'll get back to you on my opinion.

Did I mention how much I'm loving this show?!

Did I Mention I Loooove Me Some Ryan Leslie?

2009-04-12T01:30:00.001-04:00

Even when it's "just for fun"... He can do this... Makes me wonder though, will there be a Gibberish remix? Hmmmm

I Am Just Going To Put It Out There.

2009-04-12T00:25:00.006-04:00

I don't know how to be sexy. There I said it. It's sad but true. I can't capture the eyes of my own audience when I walk into a room. I am incapable of having my lips slightly parted in such a way that guys melt inside. Though I love rocking my stilletos, I still can't pull off that "Oooh she bad" look. I decided to let N.Kisses* know of my shortcoming and this is what she tells me [not our real screen names]

Mz_Restricted (12:18:18 AM): i dont have sex appeal
Mz_Restricted (12:18:28 AM): errr i dont know how to be sexy
N.Kisses* (12:18:39 AM): youre right
N.Kisses* (12:18:49 AM): thats why you either find, or buy sex appeal
Mz_Restricted (12:18:57 AM): buy?
Mz_Restricted (12:19:03 AM): im mad you said i'm right
N.Kisses* (12:19:10 AM): lol
N.Kisses* (12:19:19 AM): you could buy anything online nowadays
N.Kisses* (12:19:25 AM): and they send it in a discreet box
Mz_Restricted (12:19:28 AM): omg lolz

So I thought about it and wondered if I really could buy sex appeal. I found this Sexiness thing that will supposedly give you sex appeal. It was some spell casting metaphysical thing and I'm definetly not into that so I'm going to have to learn to do this the hard way. [[sigh]] Any advice is welcome. This is ridiculous. How can a woman not have sex appeal?

Job Hunting is So Depressing [[sigh]] And People Suck

2009-04-10T17:29:00.007-04:00

The only proper way to begin explaining myself is by starting from the beginning. I have always wanted a job ever since but was told by my parents that I couldn't work until I was 16 years old. Mind you, my brother is now 15 and my parents have been encouraging him to start working since last year! Anyway, as soon as I turned 16, I set out to find a job. My goal was to be a working girl.

The first place I applied to was Target. This started perfectly. Almost immediately, I recieved a call from the hiring manager asking me to come in for an interview the next day. A week following that interview, I was called for a second interview and after that I was given an appointment for a drug test. Imagine how excited I was the day I went to go pick up the documents needed from the hiring manager. He told me I had 24 hours-Tuesday morning to Wednesday morning to go take my drug test. So I got out of school early and took my drug test on Tuesday morning [My dumb behind used the potty BEFORE going to the lab place and ended up having to drink almost a gallon of water ugh.] and reported to the manager later that week. Instead of hearing, "You've got the job", I got "The appointment was Wed-Thurs. You took the test on the wrong day. You can apply again in 6 months." MIND YOU, HE SPECIFICALLY TOLD ME TUESDAY-WEDNESDAY. It all went downhill from there.

Two years later, I was still unemployed. In that time, I had been given false hope and rejections countless times. I had also been rejected by Target a second time too. This time in another state. It wasn't until I moved back to New York that I was finally hired. I had been working for the same company almost a year until I came back to Florida. A transfer within the company I had been working for was obviously not happening due to the fact that where I live has one of the highest unemployment rates in the country. Getting a job a few years ago was hard enough here so imagine how things became worse for me with the decline of our economy! I've been back 4 months now and have been looking for a job but to no avail. Last week I did have a little hope, but now it's lost.

ALL I WANT IS A LITTLE MONEY!! I need something to do. I loved working.

You know what I hate though? People who judge me when they have absolutely no idea what I'm going through. The conversation always goes like this:

@$$Hole: blah blah blah lazyblah blah... Get a job

Me: I'M LOOKING FOR ONE!

They're telling me this like I can just walk into any place and get offered a job. NOOOO It doesn't work like that!! Who cares how defeated I feel at the end of the day, right? Or how discouraged I am?

Who really cares?

Damn You Libido!!

2009-04-09T23:36:00.005-04:00

I have been single for over a year now. Don't get me wrong, I love the single life. I'm just doing me and dealing with the things that I need to deal with. People keep asking me if I even want a relationship and am I even looking for a boyfriend. Of course, I would like a relationship one day and I am definetly not going to go out LOOKING for a boyfriend. That's not me. I mean, it's good to be confident and everything but some girls go too far with it and pass confident to land right on DESPERATE. Naw booboo.

Moving right along. I've actually been doing really well NOT thinking about the opposite species. This past week though, I don't know what's been going on. I've encountered a couple of cute faces recently and now I'm like a recovering alcholic who's had their first drink in a year. Now my mind is turning to boys 90% of the time. I can only do so much. So today I started thinking of the sexy black men that grace our screens. Believe me, it's safer to gaze at the unreachable. I'm only human people!

Permission to Lick the Screen because they are too YUMMYY...

Did I mention how much I love chocolate.. with the occasional nice tall glass of milk on the side?

The Mystery Behind...

2009-04-08T23:45:00.002-04:00

GUYS...

I mean really. WHAT THE HELL is going through their minds sometimes??

Some want to act like little boys, but what's the other 90%'s excuse?

Random Rattle of the Brain

2009-04-08T16:23:00.003-04:00

Come next month, I'll be off sabbatical from higher eduation yay! I'm not exactly in the school I wanted to be in [I miss my old school] but hey. Also, I'm not where I would like to be and doing the things I thought I'd be doing at this point in my life but I am not going to mope about it anymore like I've been doing for the past, oh, three months. So I'm going to get out of this state of seclusion that I've kind of put myself in and make the best out of the situation. In other words, I'm going to settle.

PROBLEM:
I don't want to settle for the rest of my life. I mean, things HAVE to go my way one day right?

Digi-Kanye Gettin' It In...

2009-04-06T15:09:00.002-04:00

Kanye Dance from SWAY Studio on Vimeo.

This Chick is... PSYCHOOOOO and GONE!!

2009-03-31T23:01:00.003-04:00

YES PEOPLE! The black sheep of the College Hill: South Beach is voted out! It was only expected after her going after Milan with pool sticks and cue balls. Personally, I don't understand what all the discussion was about anyway. From day one, it was clear something wasn't right with Mz. Terri. This girl is obviously a couple of fries short of a full Happy Meal. It's a great thing that she's gone but frankly, I'm worried about my interest in this season in the long run. Hopefully they didn't peak too early. And another thing; Is it me, or are am I seeing more commercials than the actual show? Watch recaps on BET's website! I hate to admit it, but I think I'll miss the crazy ghetto-speaking pageant queen with the bald spot! Who am I going to write about week after week?

Enjoy some pictures from tonight's episode courtesy of BET.com

I Feel Your Pain, T-Pain...

2009-03-31T22:08:00.004-04:00

I'm sure we all know about T-Pain's golf cart accident. He unfortunately lost four teeth and had to miss a couple of tour stops and Lil Kim's video shoot. This is where having crazy money comes in to save the day. He wasted no time in getting a dentist to fix his teeth. I do feel his pain though, because I know first hand how EVIL golf carts can be. I too, was a victim of such a vehicle. In seventh grade, I was walking around school with a friend after lunch. While I was grubbing on some chinese noodles, my friend wanted to try one. I understand that this girl didn't like it but COMMON SENSE would be to turn AWAY from me to spit it out. Unfortunately, that was not girlie's mind set. As a reflex, I backed up so as not to get hit by the saliva-coated noodle. Next thing you know, I'm on the ground and a huge wheel is in front of my face. Yes, I had been run over by a golf cart. So T-Pain! Don't worry about any ridicule you are getting about this whole incident! I know what you're going through! I didn't lose any body parts or anything, but I know how you feel! Emotionally!

I DON'T WANNA GROW UP!!

2009-03-28T03:03:00.004-04:00

As if this week wasn't filled with enough memories. Disney Channel decides to have a day dedicated to the real heroes. This afternoon's lineup was Tarzan, Hercules, Aladdin, and Mulan. Talk about classics! I sat my unfortunately flat bottom on the couch and haven't left since. If that wasn't bad enough, I started CRYING at the end of each movie! Just listening to those songs brought back sooo many memories. I miss my childhood. Things just aren't the way they used to be. I mean High School Musical and Cheetah Girls are great movies, but none of them really capture you like these old movies did.

Life was so much better when I was 10 and younger. Growing up is such a drag. I'm going to stop writing now because I can barely see the screen through my tears [call me weird, whatever]. Enjoy this clip of "I Can Go The Distance" in Hercules after he destroys the town center and feels he doesn't belong. [[sigh]] Memories...

I don't care what anybody says, Hercules was one sexy cartoon character when he became older.

Reflection-Mulan... Talk about a beautiful song

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BESTIE!!

2009-03-28T01:19:00.009-04:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELISSA!

ii LOVE YOU LIKE A FAT KID LOVES CAKE!

FAT CHEEKS...

You were just minding your own business that one morning at church many many years ago when I came up to you. I'm sure you've seen me around but we've never spoken. "Why are you still wearing those puffy dresses?", was what my rude little self asked, and thus our friendship began. Over a decade later and here we are, on your 19th birthday. So I you know I definetly had to dedicate a post to you, my ace, my other half.

I love this quote because I think that it defines our friendship through the years. We definetly know that this is the truth more than anything.

True friendship isn't being inseperable,

It's being seperated & nothing changes

Love ya Babes!!

P.S. Oh and we can't leave your brother David out... You guys have that weird one year and one day apart thing. So HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY DAVID!!

Throwback...

2009-03-27T02:41:00.009-04:00

The other day, as I was talking to N. Kisses, we started reminiscing about back in the day. She had come across a throwback pic from elementary school and it made me want to go look for my own pictures from way back when. I had just recently moved, so there were quite a few boxes in the garage to go through. Honestly, I don't have that much patience and gave up after awhile but not before finding my old diary! The pictures will have to be another day. So I was reading through the diary and could do nothing but smile. There was this huge strip of tape taped to the inside of the front cover that said "I PROMISE NOT TO READ". The reason why it stood out to me was because there were three lines and each had my parent's and my little brother's signature. I mean, they actually signed it! Here's an entry about the ideal day for me back in those days

**********************************************************************************
06/19/99

Dear Diary,

Today is Saturday and I've had fun so far. First, I played stuffed animals and jumprope with [my brother] and then we played catch with a football. It was so funny. Now I'm watching CatDog. I'm about to watch it again because of the double plays. I'm kinda happy and mad. I'm hapyy because i have cable again and I'm mad because I don't have Disney and HBO. I'll write to you later. Bye.
**********************************************************************************

Don't you just miss these carefrees days? No bills, no responsibilities, no drama, just games and Nickelodeon. Good times... Good times...

Dead and Gone... Such a Good Song

2009-03-26T15:59:00.001-04:00

To Think People Still Feel This Way...

2009-03-26T00:31:00.004-04:00

Racism is still going on in this country. I am not going to act oblivious to this unfortunate, well-known fact. So hearing the thoughts of these guests on this video of the Tyra show [shown below], didn't surprise me. They did disgust me though. The ignorance was just too much. My question is how can somebody be so closeminded on things they know nothing about? Also how can parents teach their kids to be so racist? Telling their kids that the Bible said to not date outside their race? Are you serious? As a Pastor's child, I know a couple of things about the Bible and THAT is nowhere in there.

The thing that is really crazy to me is how they saw black women. In the clip with each mother and their three children, it was automatically assumed that the black mother was on welfare. Nobody even noticed how this woman and her kids were dressed. There were no holes or stains in their clothes, they were all appropriately covered for the weather that day, and the mother's hair was beautifully done. None of this matter. As soon as they saw the color of their skin, their opinion was set. That is so wrong. This kind of prejudice is the reason why we have to work even harder to get where we need to go. I want to succeed partly to prove them wrong, but also just for myself. Because I can.

All the colors of all the people in this world is what makes it so beautiful. Personally, I love being a chocolate sister. Everyone loves chocolate =).

The Epitome of All Things Crazy

2009-03-25T00:05:00.009-04:00

I had to make this little vid in tribute of Ms. Terri.

If you haven't seen the premiere of College Hill tonight, here's a link to N. Kisses' recap Even Though I'm Lying On My Back.... I would've done one myself, but she beat me to blogger after the show and I'm not trying to be a biter =). My feelings for Terri are very obvious, as you can see. She kind of reminds me of Kathy Bates in Misery. I definetly see stalker status in her. Next week, I'll hopefully beat N. Kisses to the computer and be able to fully publish Crazy Chronicles: Terri, a segment of What's Good in College Hill. Like my titles? It's a work in progress.

I would like share this piece of information I found while surfing the internet [Don't you just love technology?]. In the previews for next week's episode, we see things between Terri and Milan are about to get crazy, and if you notice the promo pics on the BET website, somebody's missing! Hmm, I wonder who? Apparently things do get a little heated and Terri gets in a fight with a cast member. and everyone decides she needs to bounce. Personally, I kind of wanted to see her last, because that would've made for an interesting season. The rest of the cast better not disappoint me.

Anyway, the following is Terri's account on what went down. She's accusing BET crew members of HOLDING HER HOSTAGE! Word? Let's see what you think...

"While in the house, a fight took place between me and another cast member. After I was assaulted the producers disconnected the phone in the house so that I couldn’t call police and then had me basically held against my will at a hotel in Miami.
They wouldn’t let me get near a phone for hours until they had a camera crew to film me (I guess because they wanted to film me crying out for my mother). I remember being in the hotel and running to the first phone I saw to call my parents after the fight and having it pulled out of my hands by one of the people on the shows staff.
She then pulled the phone out of the wall and hid it from me. Can you imagine how that felt! I just wanted to call my parents after being involved in a fight and all these people were thinking about was how to get me on film during my state of weakness.
The producers of the show also had me held in a limo and told the driver to take me to some location that they wanted to film me crying after the fight. When I heard of the producer’s plans, I paid the driver money from my own pocket to take me to my family’s house in South Florida.
When the producers got word that I was going home to be with me family instead of whatever location that they wanted me to go, they called the driver and told him to lock the doors on the car and not to let me get out until he took me to where they wanted. The driver didn’t feel comfortable taking me somewhere against my will and instead drove me to my family’s house.
When I was at the hotel in Miami, my family called the Miami Police and several media outlets to come up to the hotel because I was being held against my will (YES THE PRODUCERS TOLD ME I COULD NOT LEAVE!!!)The media waited outside the hotel to interview the producers but they were hiding in the room because they didn’t want to be exposed"

Props to [Industry Finest]

[[In announcer voice]] But wait! There's more!

Apparently Terri and her OBVIOUSLY GHETTO mother [now we know where T gets it from], basically threatened one of the cast members and they had to have 24 hour security while the show was filming. WTF?! What kind of people of BET letting into their shows these days?! Real talk, I see Terri as a shoes off, "Ima knife you b****" kind of girl.

Oohhh and here's the link to the pageant girl's myspace. Muahzz!!!!

Would You Rock...?

2009-03-24T21:59:00.002-04:00

Harem Pants??

She Tiiiiiight...

2009-03-24T20:39:00.004-04:00

Lil Kim on Bad Boy's Neighborhood [I'm still mad about the demise of Ms. Jones in the Morning] talking about how her disappointment [understatement?] at Notorious...

Props [World Star Hip Hop]

Have You Ever Felt Extremely..

2009-03-24T19:43:00.002-04:00

Crowded? Like if you don't get away for some breathing air, you will emotionally suffocate? Just tired of everything and everyone all together? You just want to scream at the top of your lungs, in the words of Natasha Bedingfield, TAKE ME AWAYYYYYY!!!!!!!

Well if not, you're lucky. Ugh, I need to do something to fix this.

Just a little rant from yours truly...

Aww I'm Proud of Him!

2009-03-24T00:23:00.004-04:00

T.I. was the recipient of a Martin Luther King Jr. medallion for his "exemplary community service". The season finale of "Road to Redemption" will be tonight at 9pm on MTV. He's supposed to be going to prison in 4 days. [[sigh]] The thought of his skinny sexy self behind bars for up to 30 years is just painful. Hopefully the system goes easy on him, especially with the work he's doing lately. Below is the ceremony. [[applause]]

T.I.'s Road to Redemption

Still On My Ryan Leslie Flow...

2009-03-22T15:53:00.002-04:00

"Precious" with Jim Jones

Outro to "Blow the Bank" vid

Never Have I Heard Incoherent Speaking Sound So Beautiful

2009-03-20T22:13:00.003-04:00

Ryan Leslie- Gibberish
When I become famous, he's writing some of my songs. Him and NeYo.

Are We Really Calling Disney RACIST?

2009-03-20T20:57:00.002-04:00

The Princess and The Frog, a new Disney movie coming out later this year is giving us what we have always dreamed of, a black princess. Unfortunately, that is not enough for the rest of our community. The prince, Prince Maveen of Maldonia, is not dark enough. He's just a little too light-skinned for everybody's taste. Although, this is not where the controversy started. The princess' name was originally Maddy, but that was a problem so Disney changed it to Tiana. Tiana's a pretty name... Better than something like BoomShicka. Other complaints about this CHILDREN'S FILM is the fact that it's set in New Orleans, and her sidekick is an alligator.

I personally don't think that when my little cousins and I[A Disney fiend] are watching this movie, they will not be asking me, "Why is the prince not dark chocolate brother", "Why is she talking to an alligator in New Orleans?". In their eyes, this will be just another fun filled fantasy filled with music, magic, and talking animals. There will just be a princess that the girls can relate closer to.

You would think in a world where we have a black First family, people wouldn't get so touchy about everything. As my friend, I Am Who I Am, Deal With It says, "Black people are always feeling oppressed about something." I agree. It's too much. It's sad when people in other races are saying that we are always complaining about something. It's unfortunately true, though. If it's not one thing, it's the other. Either way, we always end up the victim. There are situations that are exceptions of course, like police profiling, etc., but targeting Disney? Really?

GET OVER IT! This is a year of change. First Black President.. First Black Princess..

Will Disney change the complexion of our prince? I don't know but I don't think it should matter either way. Black is defined in more than one shade. I could care less if my prince is caramel, dark chocolate, or cafe au lait. Just as long as he is educated, treats me like a princess, can sing, make me laugh, plays an instrument, and is F-I-N-E. That's just me though =). I'm just saying, leave well enough alone. You don't Disney deading the whole thing talking about "SMH... Black people." THAT would be embarrasing. Let Tiana have her light boo. I bet they'll have some gorgeous children.

Anyway, here are some pics from the movie.

Oh! I almost forgot the trailer!

Sometimes I wish I lived in a Disney movie. I just feel so at ease and magical when I'm watching a Disney flick. [[sigh]]

Strong Black Sisters

2009-03-20T20:26:00.004-04:00

We all know that our oh so fabulous First Lady Michelle Obama went to speak at Anacostia High School about their career goals. Before her trip to the school, she met with other female celebrities as part of a Women's History Month Event. Among the group were Alicia Keys and CEO of BET, Debra Lee, who also paid visits to local DC schools. Enjoy the following pics!

For All You Twitter Fiends...

2009-03-19T22:21:00.001-04:00

I'm on it and still don't get the fascination with this site.

50 You Odeeing, Get a Life...

2009-03-18T02:40:00.002-04:00

What happened to rap beef consisting of, oh I don't know, RAP?! This whole 50 Cent/Rick Ross thing has been going on for dumb long now, and now we have 50 resorting to cartoons and sex tapes? Is that really necessary? A grown man who's supposedly about his business is sitting around looking like a primate in a curly wig speaking in this ANNOYING high voice. If I had serious respect for 50, I would've lost it all upon seeing the first episode of Pimpin Curly. Between this and Souljah Boy, I am worrying about our future in hip hop every day. I'll tell you right now, it is NOT looking good. [sb: FABOLOUS, NAS, etc. PLEASE NEVER DIE! YOUR IMMORTALITY ALONE CAN SAVE MUSIC!]

Below is the cartoon featuring the heads of Rick Ross, TI, DJ Khaled, T-Pain, etc.

I don't think he's funny...

New Ishhh...

2009-03-17T19:00:00.002-04:00

New single "Throw it in The Bag" by Fabolous ft. The-Dream produced by Tricky Stewart

Download Throw It In The Bag

And download What It Look Like

Loso's Way coming soon!

KanAmber? AmbYe?

2009-03-12T19:34:00.006-04:00

Kanye has a new beau! Photos have been popping up all over the net of the "Heartless" rapper and his boo, bisexual model Amber Rose. Take a look-see at the new soon to be power couple. Somebody has to take the headlines off of Chrihanna.

A better look at the shoes!

Mommy When I Grow Up, I Want To Be... Fabolous

2009-03-08T17:13:00.008-04:00

Usually, I am not one to listen to excessive amounts of hip-hop. It's not that I don't like it, I'm just more of an R&B fan. That doesn't mean that I don't recognize, acknowledge, and respect great lyrical ability. I just feel like I've come to see the light a bit more. The other day, I was talking to a friend, and he had me listening to various freestyles and remixes, mostly by Fabolous. We all know Fabolous, of course. He is one who needs no introduction. As soon as you hear "Loso in case you didn't know so", it's a wrap. To have the ability to come up with something so clever and just... sick is a gift. My friend [A Loso Go-Hard] says that Fabolous "is so good he automatically sucks". I must agree because the following lines are just crazy. Like I said before, I don't listen to THAT much hip hop so I'm probably missing out on the best lines. Here goes my attempt:

-I'm so NY like the folks who make playstation [Hi Haters Remix]
-...'Cause I shop so much I smell like the f***** mall....
-I must be the nucca ya run in your house
Snatch your little Russie and Diggie...
-So I'm a kill a cow, make sure that the beef's dead
Burger ass nigga's I look further past nuccas
[all from F*** Em All]
-These dudes is stand up rappers, hip-hop comedians, I start laughin as soon as I put your CD in. [Joke's On You]

There are a whole lot more but my fingers are tired.

[[sigh]] I wish I could do that. Anyway, his new album and mini-movie is set to come out late April or at the latest, early May. If my trusty website lets me hear the album before that, a review will be up! I'm going to need that review to redeem myself because honestly, I don't think I did this post justice. All I know is when I get famous, he will be doing the remix.

In light of recent events [my last post!], I added the Rockin That Thang Remix ft. Fabolous, Juelz Santana, Rick Ross, and Ludacris [My Love]

Radio Killa!!!!

2009-03-08T00:15:00.012-05:00

The-Dream's sophmore album is set to release March 1o, 2oo9. My suggestion? COP IT!! This album follows his debut album Love/ Hate which was released back in o7 but sold only 59,000 copies in its first week [bummer dude]. It had some hot songs on it though. Let's hope this one does better. Thank God for websites that let you listen to the whole album before it hits the stores. I just finished listening to it and LOVED IT!! He has collabos with Mariah Carey, Kanye West, and Lil Jon. It's a mix of everything; hubby/wifey songs, club hopping songs, and a couple of Oopsie! [insert last name here] baby making joints.

Track Listing for Love vs. Money
1. Money Intro
2. Rockin That Thang
3. Walkin on the Moon ft. Kanye West
4. My Love ft. Mariah Carey
5. Put it Down
6. Sweat it Out
7. Take U Home 2 My Mama
8. Love vs. Money
9. Love vs. Money Part 2
1o. Fancy
11. Right Side of My Brain
12. Mr. Yeah
13. Kelly's 12 Play
14. BONUS TRACK: Let Me See The Booty

Like I said before, all the songs are hott. Rockin That Thing is my ish. I'm definetly feeling My Love. Put it Down is definetly one of those Oopsie [insert last name here] baby making songs. I don't want to be feeling that one too much if you know what I mean. Love vs. Money Parts 1&2 are nice. Each is the point of view of the girl and guy. It was fun to listen too. Let Me See The Booty was a least fave only because the first line is "If you ain't got no booty then you gotta go home. But if you got a booty shortie, show me your thong." This line makes me =( because I'd have to go home. I'm the unfortunate president of the Booty-Less club. I'd still dance to it despite my shortcoming. Right Side of My Brain has become my new favorite song. I love it. I can't find the words to describe. I was just... lost in the music. It was like I was swimming in the lyrics. Sounds corny right? That's seriously how I felt, real talk.

Closing thoughts on this late night/early morning post.

COP THIS ALBUM COP THIS ALBUM COP THIS ALBUM COP THIS ALBUM!!!!

You won't regret it! It has recieved a 5 Pump rating on the Mz_Restricted Radar.

Beef or No Beef? That is The Question...

2009-03-07T19:19:00.009-05:00

So I'm sure you've heard Keri Hilson's remix to "Turnin Me On" Featuring T-Pain and Lil Wayne off of her new album, "A Perfect World". If not, I tried to embed the file on here but blogspot is acting stupid. You can hear it here on RealTalkNY. As soon as that came out, it was all over that Keri was dissing Beyonce and Ciara in the song. It was basically about how she wrote some songs for them.

The verse in question is as follows.

“I ain’t trying to start no mess, but there’s something on my chest that I need to get off, ’cause you turning me off. Your vision cloudy if you think you the best, ***you can dance, she can sing***, but need to move it to the le(ft) [don't do it to em shawty!], she need to go have some babies….. Go head and tell folks how Imma be writing your songs, I’ve been putting you on, just check the credits, ho.”

[courtesy of Miss Info since I couldn't find the lyrics ANYWHERE ugh]

Miss Keri Hilson called into the Atlanta station 95.5fm and denied the diss track. She also said it was nothing but a leaked track. Speaking of leaked tracks, let's bring this to back to grade school.

COMPARE AND CONTRAST [Or just compare with a bit of inferencing]

"Love In This Club" by Usher ft. Young Jeezy is produced by Polow da Don

"Turning Me On Remix" by Keri Hilson ft. T-Pain/Lil Wayne is produced by Polow da Don

"Love In This Club" gets leaked by Polow da Don

"Turning Me On Remix" gets leaked by ???? [Like we don't know]

What I think about this whole thing? If Keri really was dissing Beyonce and Ciara, I don't see the point of it. Yes you are a songwriter. We acknowledge that. So why the animosity? Did you expect to get more fame than Beyonce and Ciara combined since you're in front of the camera now? Now you mad? Smh...

If it isn't a diss, then hopefully it all blows over and Keri learns some lesson in the end. R&B Beef is not cool dudes. [Link to a post on the issue by my babes,

Oh shoot, I almost forgot! Here's Keri Hilson calling into the radio station to make her case. You'll hear Ciara too. I guess it was originally her interview? Damn K! You had to bust in on girlie's Q and A time?

Support the Police... Beat Yourself Up....

2009-03-06T22:10:00.002-05:00

We all know there has been countless cases of police brutality cases over the years. Amadou Diallo, Patrick Dorismond, Rodney King, Abner Louima, Sean Bell. Though I was young when these happened, I remember how things were when they happened. I remember seeing all the news coverage around each and every one of these cases. In elemtary school, I wrote a poem about Amadou Diallo. The huge protest during Patrick Dorismond's funeral was so close to my house, that I saw the police walking around in front of my building. Cops seem to think they can get away with everything. It is really unnerving.

Below is a video of police beating up a 15 year old girl in Washington. They pushed to the wall, and repeatedly kicked her when she was on the floor. They then held her by her hair. 15 years old! Are you serious?! How would they feel if two grown men beat up one of their kids? The deputy pleaded not guilty and told prosecutors he was trying to "prevent another assault" by the teenager. What is this 15 year old girl going to do you? That's ridiculous. This needs to stop. The police don't deserve the praise they get from people. Instead of protecting us, we apparently need to be protected from them. Let me know what you think...

This is an interview the girl had with her dad after the incident...

Gotta give credit where it's due! The vids are from WSHH...

Musiq Soulchild- SoBeautiful

2009-03-06T21:41:00.004-05:00

There are a couple of sites that I like to visit on the regular. One of them is RealTalkNY. I absolutely love this hip hop blog, partly because I love almost anything from my hometown. Recently, one of my friends put me on to World Star Hip Hop. He kind of went hard when he was telling me about it but I must say, it's hott site. So that's another I get on a lot these days. So don't be surprised if there are video clips or just references to any of these two sites on my posts. Below is the video for Musiq Soulchild's "SoBeautiful". This is good music. Just thought I'd put this video up.

I Love This Song

Oh and sidebar... I'M TOO EXCITED ABOUT MICHAEL JACKSON MAKING A COMEBACK! Even if it just for a 10 show curtain call in London. Suddenly I have deja-vu. I seriously had a dream about this.

Played Out in TV Land... Just Plain Stupid in Real Life

2009-03-06T16:53:00.008-05:00

The other night I was watching French Prince of Bel-Air on Nick at Nite. This was the episode where Will steals the car [after being forbidden to drive it], and goes to the local pool hall to play pool [after Uncle Phil tells him not to go there]. In the beginning, he just plays for the fun of it until a harmless looking guy comes along and gets him to bet $5 a ball. Will dominates this game and gets all hyped. That is, until a larger man tells Will to play him for $20 a ball. At first, Will tries to decline, but gets sucked in by his pride. Of course, this guy murders Will at the game and Will ends up owing him $500. Will doesn't have the money and the hustlers end up holding the car until he comes up with the cash. Eventually, Uncle Phil finds out and comes down to the pool hall and hustles the hustlers, getting Will out from under the debt. I'm sure everybody has seen this episode at least twice, respectively.

At the end of the episode, I started thinking, "Didn't I see something like this already?". Episode 34 during the first season of Family Matters, Eddie, Rodney, and Steve go into a pool hall after being told not to and end up getting hustled the same way. In the end, Carl and Mother Winslow come in and save the day with their skills on the pool table. This same sequence of events was seen in many other sitcoms also.

Other situations that seem to pop up in EVERY sitcoms:

a. Teenagers taking the car out without permission and scratching/denting it. A majority of the episode is spent with said teenager[s] keeping the secret from the parent[s].

b. Maxing out the credit card

c. Somebody meets the perfect guy or girl. Best friend finds out Mr. or Miss Perfect is a cheat, or has some other ulterior motive and tries to warn the naive one. Then the famous lines, "I thought you'd be happy for me instead of being jealous", "I thought you were my friend", and my favorite, "You would say anything to keep us apart". In the end, the naive one finds out the truth the hard way and the episode ends with an apology and a hug or some other activity.

d. Hanging with the wrong crowd and shoplifting or cutting class or something.

e. The violence episode

There are plenty of other examples. Going through all of them would take days. My question is, though they make for an entertaining 30 minutes, how many times can one see the same situations play out in different shows? You already know how it's going to end, but you just can't stop watching. I know these are all life lessons to teach young people right from wrong in real life, but think about it. Who would really let some of these things happen? Some make sense, but some would just be idiotic in real life.

For example, the whole being hustled in a pool hall scenario. I walk into a pool hall and somebody wants to play me. Ok, we'll play. If I win, and this person starts talking about playing for money, I'd be like, "You must think I'm stupid". Who in their right mind would OFFER to play for money if they really can't play? Common sense would tell you that something isn't right there. Another example could be maxing out the credit card. Ok, I am not going to say that this doesn't happen to people. There are better ways of dealing with it though. Hiding the bill is not one of them. It's not like the parent is going to forget that they have a bill coming in from the credit card company. You can't forget about something that happens MONTHLY. It's like a period. Whether you want to forget it or not, it's coming. Last one for today, the whole perfect evil boyfriend/girlfriend thing. My best friends tries to tell me about somebody I JUST MET, who am I going to believe. Of course, I'm going to believe the one who knows me inside and out and has for years over a handsome face I've only seen a couple of times in my whole life. Point blank, my girls come before any testosterone.

I'm not going to stop watching these sitcoms because of their predictability. Why would I? The shows from back in the day are timeless, and today's sitcoms, though they aren't as good as the old ones, are way better than watching reality tv. Don't even get me started on that. In real life though, think before you act. You don't want to end up in a situation that won't be solved within 30 minutes without the comedy.

Confessions of a CyberSpace Floozy aka Web Whore

2009-03-05T23:36:00.001-05:00

floo⋅zy
–noun, plural -zies. Slang.

A woman regarded as tawdry or sexually promiscuous.

It's common knowledge that everybody is on at least one social networking site. MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, Hi5, etc. These sites are great for connecting with current friends and reconnecting with long lost ones, especially with Facebook [That's a story for a whole different blog coming soon!]. Yet I feel that there must be a limit on how many of these things you can be on. After a while, it's like spreading yourself around. Figuratively of course. Personally, I was fine with just being on MySpace and Facebook. What more did I need? Personalize your profile with pretty designs and music on MySpace while stalking people via newsfeed on Facebook. I just ignored all the email invites to the other sites. I never saw a point.

That was, until recently, a friend of mine [I Am Who I Am, Deal With It. Hit up her blog] ATTEMPTED to convince me to join Twitter. In the end, it was just peer pressure and not her argument. Sorry babes. So I joined Twitter and you know what? I really don't see the point of this site. It's just a whole page of status updates. Umm.. I can do this on Facebook. I'll stick around and see if it grows on me, I guess.

As if having me join Twitter wasn't enough, she then had me make an account on Blogspot. I'm not going to lie. I thought about it a couple of times, but now I have to continually think of ways to entertain readers. That's a lot of pressure for one girl. Ok, not really but still. So here I am, letting my thoughts flow through my fingertips and allowing them to be displayed all on your screen. It was upon my joining Twitter and Blogspot all in one evening that I came to a shocking and unpleasant conclusion. I have become a CyberSpace Floozy. I have become loose with my email. At least I admit it.

My web name is Mz_Restricted and I am a CyberSpace Floozy. I Am Who I Am, Deal With It is my pimp.

Let's hope I don't get an ETD [Electronically Transmitted Disease]. Maybe I should wear gloves. Virus Protectors are only 99.9% effective.